A STEPSON UPDATE

Last Friday my stepson returned from Thailand. He said it was the best experience of his life and met many people there especially when he was travelling on his own going from one beach to another. I'm very pleased he enjoyed the Thailand experience and even hoped that it could be a turning point in his life.

On the same day he arrived back in England, my stepson popped into my home to collect some things. On leaving he said he was going to pop in later that evening to show me and his mother photographs he took on holiday. No problem, I thought.

When my wife returned home, she told me that her son was going to stay the night because he will struggle to get some sleep at his Dad's house while he's jet-lagged. No problem, I thought again.

After crashing out for two nights I had a conversation with my wife about her son's intentions. The conversation went okay; quite often discussions about her son lead to arguments. My wife explained that her son will stay here until his Dad finishes decorating his home. My stepson sleeps on his Dad's sofa in the lounge which is being decorated. I thought my stepson would be in my home for a couple of weeks at most. No problem, I thought yet again.

Then the next day my wife elaborated that my stepson may stay longer as he and his Dad aren't getting on living together. A problem, I now thought. His move back has gone from very temporary to possibly permanent and the reasons why he's come back has shifted from jet-lag, via decorating, to his relationship with his Dad.

I don't have much control over things. I'm sure if I say to my wife that I don't want her son living with us, she would move out with him. I also don't want her to make a choice between her son and me not least because I think I know who she would pick!

I told my wife again that her son isn't easy to live with and that we were getting on much better without him around. She agreed with both points. I reiterated the reasons why I don't like living with her son. I said I can put up with his foibles (as we all have them), his messes and his noise. But I can't put up with his 'friends' walking into my home without knocking on the front door to score some weed off my stepson. It doesn't feel like home to me. Again, she agreed with me and said that will not be happening again. Perhaps progress.

My stepson is on his best behaviour since his return from Thailand. But I'm very aware that there's creep in his behaviour in that he crosses the line in a relatively small way and then crosses it again and again. And, before you know it, home is not home. My stepson isn't at all mindful of others he shares a home with.

There's probably no ideal solution to this predicament. My stepson is in no financial position to buy or even rent his own place. Because of the cost of living crisis, many young people have returned to their parents' home in Britain. I only hope that he gets on better with his Dad, a hope which seems forlorn.

I'm trying to stay positive about things, though I had a reality check when I got up in the morning to find that my stepson had peed over the toilet seat. Was this the first creep?